Breaking Up and Relationships

1. Avoid over-analyzing why you broke up. You may never know. Tip: try to write about why you believe you broke up and then try to keep your mind from constantly thinking about the break up after that.
2. Spend as much time as possible with other people, especially people who are close to you. This will help you feel better.
3. Avoid whenever possible getting down on yourself about the breakup. Try to notice when you are doing this and switch your attention to more positive thoughts about yourself.
4. Seek professional help if you are feeling depressed about a breakup and/or you want to gain more insight about the breakup. If you are not sleeping or eating, feeling suicidal, or unable to function well after a breakup, you definitely should check in with a mental health professional.

What is the Best Way to Break Up With Someone?

There is no “best way” except to be kind about it. Do not go into unnecessary detail about the other person’s faults or even why you believe the breakup is necessary unless you are open to changing your mind about breaking up. Try to say something short and to the point and leave it at that like: “I don’t think you are the right person for me right now.” “I may not be ready for a relationship” or“I don’t think we are compatible.” Avoid extensive discussions. The person you are breaking up with does not need to be “convinced” it is a good idea. It is usually better not to respond to repeated attempts to talk about or email about the breakup. However, if it was a long relationship a more elaborate explanation may be necessary.

How Can One Keep a Relationship From Breaking Up?

Here are some suggestions:

1. Show more personal interest in your partner and what matters to them. Pay attention to their strengths and what they feel good about.
2. Agree to disagree without hard feelings.
3. Offer more support and reassurance to your partner. It can be saying I love you or paying more compliments.
4. Increase affection. This just about always helps a relationship that might break up.
5. Spend more time with your partner especially having fun.
6. Notice your partner’s feelings more especially when they are happy about something or have hurt feelings.
7. Practice “Change by invitation”. Invite your partner to do something a different way instead of telling him/her what to do. Be as loving about it as possible.

Why Do Relationships Typically Break Up ?

Common reasons for breaking up are:

1. Lack of time or interest in your partner.
2. Lack of sexual chemistry
3. Lack of commitment or different levels of commitment in each partner
4. Too many differences and/or disagreements which are not handled well.
5. Lack of affection.
6. Lack of time spent together having fun i.e. too much focus on other things besides being together as a couple.