Exercise: Finding out how I am codependent.
True or False
- Without even realizing that it is happening, I find myself focusing on others needs even at my own expense.
- When it is my turn to receive help from others I usually decline, as I am uneasy when others focus their attention on me.
- I have many times taken pride in the fact that I am a “helper” with others, and I can easily postpone or deny my own needs.
- I feel the best about myself when I am giving advice and/or handling a crisis situation.
- Many times I have waited for others to take care of me in return, only to discover that it is never my turn.
- Sometimes I am so focused on one person that I can only think about that person and how to help them.
- I take good care of my friends. Most people like me because of what I can do for them.
- When I am alone I think about other people besides myself.
- Often I do not know my own response or feelings to difficult situations in my life and instead rely on the opinions of others or what others will think of me.
- I am often considered to be the “responsible person” to handle almost everything.
If you answered true to most of the above questions, you are very likely codependent. To be codependent is to be skilled in the art of taking care of other people rather than yourself.