Nancy Wesson, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist:psy9621
Dr.NWesson@sbcglobal.net (650) 965-7332.
Exercise: Finding out about how I am codependent and focusing on others needs instead of my own.
1) Review the statements from the codependency quiz below:
True or False
1. Without even realizing that it is happening, I find myself focusing on others needs even at my own expense.
2. When it is my turn to receive help from others I usually decline, as I am uneasy when others focus their attention on me.
3. I have many times taken pride in the fact that I am a “helper” with others, and I can easily postpone or deny my own needs.
4. I feel the best about myself when I am giving advice and/or handling a crisis situation.
5. Many times I have waited for others to take care of me in return, only to discover that it is never my turn.
6. Sometimes I am so focused on one person that I can only think about that person and how to help them.
7. I take good care of my friends. Most people like me because of what I can do for them.
8.When I am alone I think about other people besides myself.
If you answered true to most of the above questions, you are very likely codependent. To be codependent is to be skilled in the art of taking care of other people rather than of yourself.
2) Pick one or two of the statements about codependency above and write down when you observe your codependent thoughts or behavior in the next few days. Go gently: you are a researcher and observer not a criticizer or self- blamer.
Example Statement: When I am alone I think about other people besides myself.
Situation: I woke up this morning worrying about my son’s problems with his wife.
My thoughts and feelings about these situations: